yet why should i still get to live, still get to breathe?

everything is on me and the solution is simple;

not even to call it quits 

but to pulse for the life people say 'is in your control'

if so

why can't i seem to touch this person's heart,

say what i feel and feel what i say?

after all,
life will be for nought.
at most nights may feel a little longer for a barely significant amount of time
even though the earth will still do its usual orbit around the sun,
at its usual pace.
did you know?
2 people die every second and are simultaneously replaced by 4 newborns;
just as matter decay and return to the soil,
ever-present for the next flower to bloom, in time to come.
so,
when i fade,
bring me back to the stars
take me to places i've yet to see
leave me, and only me, at the places that
reminded you of me. 

(updated daily, for 10 days)

Depending on your situation,

this can be taken ironically or unironically...

Welcome to an essential how-to to anyone seeking self-destruction

Day 1:

Acquire a heart of steel -

No longer have empathy for all the people you care, nay,

used to care abouut.
Oh man, think of all the joy you'll experience not having to deal with complaints and rants your friend would share/burden you with hahahahah

No longer do you need to spare a thought and think if what you're doing will hurt their feelings. Better yet, know that it'll hurt their feelings and do whatever it is you want to do --

like not replying to their seemingly urgent texts although you actually have so much spare time on your hands. Deliberately like their photos on social media too!

That is sure to break their hearts because you have such a heightened sense of sensitivity and people always said, "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

and since this is something you hate,

they must really hate it too.

this is a really good trick except you might still end up feeling horrible,

especially when your friends reach out to you

and that old saying keeps ringing in your head.

also, they might not even feel a thing if you pull this on them cuz

they're perfectly fine with it,

i mean they must be,

since they do it to you all the time!

Day 2:

Exit chat groups -

Yes, a clear passive aggressive manner to easily communicate to your ex-group-of-friends that you guys are no longer friends. 

Since you all don't even meet each other,

most communication is kept strictly on social media platforms/messaging apps so,

welcome to the best way of burning bridges in the digital age woo! 

If you are reallllllyyyyy passive aggressive and are set on severing ties,

block them from your private instagram account! Cuz somehow numbers and following these days are the epitome of friendship. 

Day 3:

Be an outright dick -

Disregard them as a friend and make no effort to speak/meet up with them. 

Write a passive aggressive blog post titled:

how to lose all your friends in 10 days

Try to forget them. 

Delete old photos.

Not wish them 'happy birthday' on their birthday. 

Ignore them when you see them around. 

fjffffffffffffffffffffjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjffffjfjjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfj

Why is it so hard to take a breath

When it is all that's left?

/

Have you ever felt so hurt that it physically hurts?

And no, it doesn't feel like someone has ripped your heart out but

a sort of soreness runs through your veins to your fingers and ribcage

and it isn't unbearable,

it just makes you feel all the more weak. 

/

I look around myself,

searching desperately for something, anything,

for my last strands of hope to latch onto.

But nothing showed up,

no one showed up in my head

as I contemplate my final breaths.

Nothing carried the weight they used to.

This night,

I became the most convincing person I know,

there is no turning back now.

/

I think I found out

that I have nothing

That I have nothing

in this place for me

I played it all in my head

Perfect sense

/